Sunday, May 18, 2008

Doubts and other misgivings

It's been a while since I've posted anything to this blog.

Mostly because I finished the next draft and sent it away to QTC and then started having major misgivings.

It felt alright when I finished it and it seemed to read quite well, but now I feel like vomiting just thinking about it. I'm having second thoughts. The sort of cold feet that petrify the rest of your body.

I'm in a state of stasis. Too scared to read the bloody thing again. Wasting my time imagining the worst instead.

What was I thinking sending it in when I did?

How could I think it was ready?

I hate being this pathetic.

I'm holding on to the fact that I'm about to head off for a 10-day holiday in New Zealand. Freezing cold temperatures and the four of us searching for snow. I plan to print out the play and take it with me. Hopefully altitude and distance will allow me to see it in perspective. I'll take my laptop with me too and I imagine that I will be going to the next workshop (3 days after I get back from NZ) with a new ending/new draft, written on holiday.

That's my last ditch plan anyway ...